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Balmain, career, consulting, fabulous, feminism, feminist, halppy, hard work, Life, love, office, success, women, womyn, work, work hard
For some time now, I have been busting my ass on an investment proposal for a new client. I kind of looked at this project as my big “comeback” at work, after a quieter summer, and before my busy travel season. So in between long hours at the office, bringing work home with me, pulling team all nighters, and drooling on my laptop on Sunday nights, I found myself thoroughly exhausted and spent–depleted of energy, enthusiasm, and even a little bit of drive.
Then, something amazing happened. A couple weeks ago, my boss called me into her office and acknowledged my hard work on this project. She followed that up with a proposal of her own–I could present the investment proposal to the client, myself. It would be daunting. From having sat in on proposal meetings before, I knew how tense the environment could get. I would be bombarded with questions, grilled with imaginary scenarios, “what ifs,” and market discrepancies. I would have to know this proposal inside out, I would have to know the pits and the peaks of each strategy. Each penny would have to be accounted for, and if the client did not find this proposal suitable, it would all fall on my shoulders. I took the chance without the slightest hesitation, much to a competing coworker’s dismay. In his eyes, he was more qualified to present, had been on the team for a longer period of time, and most importantly–he is a man. He felt he would have better command of the boardroom than I would.
On the appointed day of the presentation, the boardroom got just as contentious as expected. Tensions were flying high, and my team and I were fighting against some pretty tough odds, hoping our client would buy into the proposal. So towards the end of the meeting, as I made my final pitch and summed up the company’s projected valuation, that same coworker cut me off mid-presentation. As I began passing out packets with the sum of all the information I had presented, he held his hand up, as if to say “stop,” and cut me off my train of thought. After slighting me in front of an entire boardroom, he then continued to sum up the proposal I had spent weeks slaving over.
I could have let it pass, but I did not. I knew that an aggressive course of action on my part would have an impact on team dynamics. I went for it, anyway. Promptly after the summation of the proposal, we broke for 30 minutes, so the client could decide whether to sign with the proposal or not. I saw my colleague dash towards the men’s room the second we stepped out of the boardroom. I followed him. I stood outside the door for 5 minutes. Then 10 minutes. Then after 15 minutes, I walked right in.
He stood by the sink, texting on his phone, clearly biding his time so he would not have to face me. I had so many harsh words for him, so much rage, but I knew that this was not the appropriate environment to show that rage. Without a quiver in my voice, and with a composure I did not know I possessed, I told him “You will never ever slight me again. I do not disrespect your work. You will not disrespect mine. Feel free to take the rest of the afternoon off.” He was stone faced. I then walked out of the men’s room, and over to the boardroom receptionist, informed her that my colleague was no longer attending this afternoon’s meeting, due to a sudden illness, and called the board to commence.
At the end of the day, our client ended up signing our proposal, but that is neither here nor there. That is not what my post is about.
It is about taking chances, no matter how ballsy. My boss could have called me out on kicking a colleague out of a board meeting. But she didn’t do that because she knew my actions were justified. At 47-years-old, she has given twenty five years to this company, and seen her fair share of sexism. She was testing me. She wanted me to experience disrespect because she wanted to know that I could push through it with dignity. She wanted to know I would not have a meltdown. She offered a wink and an acknowledging smile that said it all. It said she understood what it is like to be 23-years-old, to put your nerves aside, and your job on the line to give a presentation that could very well end your career before it even takes off. Or, it can catapult your career to the top. She knew it was a crap chute, and that I would either sink or swim. She knew what it is like to spend 2 hours talking to a room full of men. She wanted me to know.
I walked into my office this morning and found my favorite bottle of wine on my desk. I also found a sorry note from my colleague. As I walked towards his wing to say thanks, I overheard him conversing with another coworker in regards to the previous week’s events.
“She’s kind of a bitch, but she has balls. I respect that.”
Later, my boss called me into her office and checked in with me about the same incident. She told me when she was my age, there were no female partners in the entire company. There was nobody who truly understood the trials and tribulations of being a woman in a male-occupied company. Today, we are 40% female, we earn the exact same wages as our male counterparts, we lean in, we work together, and we look at one another as equals. But every now and then, something shitty will happen and it will test our ability to act with charm and grace. As she handed me the most fabulous present a boss can give her employee, she told me to “always act as fabulous as you look.”